Forget Me Not
by fanmin
Summary: Logan had six chances to say 'Yes' each and every time it was 'No'. But now he's given a chance to fix that - James/Logan, Kendall/Carlos


**Title:** Forget-Me-Not

**Main characters:** James Diamond, Logan Mitchell

**Side characters: **Kendall, Carlos, Camille, Brooke Diamond, some OCs

**Warning: **Slash Jagan, sex but nothing graphic (you'd know the position but...yeah)

**Alternate Universe**

Summary: Logan had six chances to say 'Yes' each and every time it was 'No.' But now he's given a chance to fix that.

A/N: I had this story planned out and 20% written but it got abandoned months ago. But then this awesome author Clarry wrote a new story about amnesia!James and well, I got inspired to write more and add more details (because I learned a lot from that 'Keep Me in the Dark' story)

Title and summary all thanks to Dullahan Shadow. I love you Shadow thanks for being an awesome friend~!

* * *

"Logan, would you be my boyfriend?"

Logan was putting his books in the locker when a box of chocolate was shoved in front of his face. Frowning, he glanced at his left, only to get even more shocked. There stood a guy he had never talked to, and not just any guy, it was James Diamond, the most popular kid at school.

He frowned. Did he ever appear gay? Was it the way he spoke, or the way he acted, that could possibly emanate a gay-ish image on him? "Sorry, I'm not into boys."

Somehow after the rejection, the smile didn't fade and the nervousness hadn't dissipated just yet. "Neither am I! It's just you. I like girls, but I never like any other boy. Will you at least consider me? Who knows, maybe after knowing me better, you'll like me too."

"How do you even like me? We never talk, never have something going on. We seldom see each other too," Logan pried. It really was not normal for someone like James to confess on a 'nobody' like him. Suddenly an idea crossed his mind, "Is this a bet? Or a dare?"

"What? No, no! I've been observing you for a while, you never notice? At first I was just impressed with your perfect grade, perfect attitude, how you can be perfect in everything basically. You also intrigued me because despite such perfection, I have never seen you with anyone. Next thing I know, I want to be the one. I want to be your boyfriend."

Logan stared deep into the hazel eyes, trying to prove him lying. Apparently he met honesty in them. "I'm not interested in dating anyone right now. But if you want us to start being friends, I guess that's okay." Logan took the chocolate box from James's hand. "I take this as friendship offer, not as Valentine chocolate."

"Cool. But if your feelings change, you'll tell me right away, won't you?"

Taking one chocolate bar for himself and another one to share with James, Logan answered, "Of course."

* * *

"James!"

Logan stomped into the blue painted room, finding the one he was looking for on his bed, playing his laptop. The pretty boy faked innocence, but he really could not hide the little smirk on the corner of his lips. "What's up?"

"I told you to stop giving me this." This time, Logan was the one shoving a box of chocolate into James's face. "Four consecutive years! Don't tell me you still mean this as Valentine chocolate!"

"Oh, that. Wait, where's the rose? I'm sure I put that next to the box!" James didn't bother answering the later part of Logan's outburst. The genius couldn't possibly _not know_ the answer.

"I put it in your vase. Those are really nice white roses, James. I hope you changed your mind and decided to give them to some girls or anyone but me."

"No. I want you, not them. Why can't you accept that simple fact? Stop pushing me towards others."

Logan sighed as he sat on the other side of the bed. Well, he and James had become very close friends after finding out how they had a lot of common interests and how they just clicked as buddies all those years ago. James was a cool best friend that most of the time Logan forgot their feelings weren't exactly the same. February 14th was the only reminder. James never missed a year to give chocolates plus card or love letter or song and this time a bouquet of white roses.

To be honest, maybe deep inside Logan felt flattered. No one had ever worshipped him that loyally and treated him in such romantic way. But this was James. Logan didn't want to give him false hope. Every year, Logan always used the same event to remind James that the feelings weren't reciprocated.

"And I don't want you like that. Why can't you accept that simple fact either?" The thing was, James never gave up. Logan didn't know how to make him.

"I tried. But you keep being all gorgeous I can't help falling again and even more, Logie." James pulled the shorter boy closer, using his strength to keep up the squirming which followed the movement. "You can't just ask people to change their feelings, Logan. Do you have any idea how hard that is?"

Logan appreciated the way James said the words lightly with a small smile, so the mood turned bitter only slightly. "Me? Gorgeous? Look who's talking." He tried to lift it up.

James seemed to know his effort as he replied, "Well, I know I am. But you don't know you are. So I have to tell you."

"Whatever," Logan chuckled. He reached for the box and like every year that had passed, the chocolates ended up being shared between them. "They taste good. Thanks, for this and also the flower."

"Next year, I plan to give you hand-made chocolate. Be prepared!"

Logan ignored how his mind translated that as "I plan to love you at least for one more year". James might not even realize what he was implying. "Fine. I'll make sure to have an appointment with a doctor on that day. I don't think I would want to die at such young age."

"No no no, you'd be surprised they'd taste even better than these."

"Heh, looking forward to that."

* * *

For the sixteenth Valentine of his life, the sixth Valentine since he got his first best friend, Logan got himself a date for the first time. Her name was Camille, the most likable girl in the high school. She was funny and very friendly, albeit ambitious and too emotional sometimes.

James watched as the boy freaked out, about clothes to wear to the dance, about how to talk smoothly with a girl, about everything. Being a best friend, James did help him through it. He knew once again Logan had forgotten about his feelings.

"You've been helping me a lot, thank you for that. But shouldn't you find your own date as well? Shouldn't you pick one out of those girls worshipping your ground?" Logan asked.

"Nah, I'm not going."

"Eh? Why? You love parties!"

"Why would I? The one I love is with somebody else. I told you to stop pushing me towards other people." James shrugged.

Logan's chest clenched. All the time, he always felt bad to use James like this. The pretty boy might hang around him just because he liked him, but Logan continued to see him just as a friend, breaking his heart again and again. "James, it has been six years. Get over me."

"I can't."

"Should we stop being friends?"

The question made James pause the video game he was playing to look at Logan properly. Did he mishear it? "What? Why? How does it relate?"

"I mean, if we continue being like this, cuddle, talk cosily and hang out in each other's room, you'll keep getting wrong idea. Seriously James, I don't have any romantic feelings for you. I'm not gay, not just into you, not anything but straight." Logan looked away, couldn't bear to see pain clearly all over the hazel eyes. "I've been leading you on. It needs to stop. I care for you as a friend and I want you to be happy, not pining for someone unapproachable for the rest of your life."

They fell into thick silence for few seconds. Logan waited patiently until James finally spoke, "Does my love burden you, Logan?"

"The one thing that burdens me is the fact that I'm causing my best friend unhappiness. If it weren't you, if my admirer was someone I less cared for, that wouldn't be a problem."

James broke the gaze, now looking down at his hands. "So you want us to stop being friends?"

"For a while. For your own good. It's not that I hate you, just remember that."

"I call Carlos!" James turned off the video game, preparing to leave Logan's house. "You get Kendall."

At first Logan had no idea what the pretty boy was saying, but then he got it. Kendall and Carlos were their other best friends. Of course, James would worry if the two sided with Logan. "How do you separate them? Impossible. Just hang with them both, no worries."

"Yeah? Then with whom will you eat lunch? With whom will you chat with? It has always been me around you. I don't know how to be not friends with you, Logan. You're making me unhappier by doing this." Logan watched as James broke down, unable to keep his fine mask any longer. Pain was vividly written upon his expression.

The smart boy could not take it anymore. He moved closer to hug the boy at the sofa from behind. "I'll hang with others. Please? If you successfully get over me, it won't hurt anymore. We can be best buds again with no hard feelings. I can date Camille without feeling guilty all the time. You can find the one meant for you. We can go on double date and please James, that's all I ever want. Come back when the day comes."

Logan felt something wet and warm fell onto his arm just a second before James abruptly broke free, grab his bag and stood up, leaving without another word. Logan heard the sound of front door being opened then closed again.

Sighing, the raven haired boy slumped in the spot where James had just sat on. Feeling something on his back, he turned and got shocked to see what was poking his back. There lied a plastic of handmade chocolate, slightly cracked due to him slouching against it. He picked one piece out, surprised when he recognized its shape as a letter. In instant Logan sped off to the kitchen to grab a plate and began arranging the letters, trying to jumble it into readable words.

"Still love you", it read. Logan sat alone in the dining room and grabbed the pieces, eating them halfheartedly. They tasted awful. Maybe it wasn't James's bad; it was just his heart failing his taste buds.

* * *

Since then James avoided him, just like how he asked him to. Logan knew he had no right to complain about the aching in his chest because his ex-best-friend must have suffered at least ten times worse.

* * *

When James and Camille, who had been Logan's girlfriend for about two weeks, accidentally kissed, Logan didn't know to whom he felt really betrayed.

He had heard the full story from Kendall, Carlos, and even Camille himself. Both were in theatre club together and for the coming play, they had main roles. There was kissing scene at the end of the play, so they just had to practice doing it plenty to get rid awkwardness. It was supposed to be a brief brushing of lips but one time, they got carried away. Kendall and Carlos were coincidentally there to witness it, see how freaked out and regretful both were, mostly James.

Logan definitely believed them, believed how neither meant to hurt him. But still, Logan felt cheated on. It really was not helping that James still avoided him. Why did James kiss Camille? He was desperate for an answer.

He spotted the sandy haired boy seated in one table at cafeteria, talking with his classmates. Without thinking much he marched towards him, tapping on his shoulder. "Can we talk?"

Panic crept into the hazel eyes though it disappeared in split second. "I'm having lunch. Why don't you talk now, here?"

Damn Logan had missed that voice. "Please? Just a quick minute."

Reluctant, James asked the person next to him to watch the remaining food for him until he returned, then followed Logan. The shorter boy half dragged him into more secluded idea, under the stairs leading to the back door of the cafeteria.

"I haven't come to speak to you, Logan, so you should now about the progress of my feelings. Stagnant. Constant." James opened his mouth first, since the other boy kept struggling for words to say.

That emitted a glare from the spiky haired boy. "Why did you kiss my girlfriend?"

"…Honestly? For a moment I forgot who she was. I forgot I loved you. She was standing there, the mood was perfect, and it just happened. I am sorry."

Logan was stunned. Finally he got to hear James's version of what happened, but that was far from what he predicted. Camille had said she was imagining Logan when she kissed James. And James just admitted that he consciously kissed her, consciously forgetting Logan and his feelings. "You forgot how that would crush me." The smaller boy hissed, venom in his voice.

"Do you really like her that much, Logan?" James's face turned grim in instant.

Logan didn't answer right away. To be honest he didn't know. Why was he so upset? Because his girlfriend was kissed by another person? Because James, who claimed to still love him, kissed another person? Because James hadn't yet succeeded erasing his feelings?

"I like her enough that I won't forgive you if that happened again."

James was silent for a second, before he lifted his right hand to cover his face. Logan flinched, one more time he made James cry. "Are we done? Can I go back? The break time's over soon and I haven't finished my meal…"

The taller boy didn't wait for an answer. He ran away, leaving Logan in another set of lasting gloomy feelings.

* * *

Logan was awoken from his nap due to incessant rings from his cellphone. Annoyed, he blindly reached the thing on the coffee table and frowned when he saw twenty missed calls, half from Kendall and the others from Carlos. Some negative thoughts were quick to consume his mind. "Hello?"

"Logan! Gosh, finally! Logan, it's James, he's―we're at hospital right now. The one near school. Can you come? I'll tell you when you arr―" Logan didn't bother to wait until Kendall finished speaking. He fled to his room to grab jacket, wallet, and car key then headed at lightning speed to his car.

Million guesses and assumption filled his head, and none of them were pleasant. No, he could not lose James. Not when the last thing Logan did was another rejection. Not when the last time they spoke he caused James another heartbreak. Not when it was James.

He put his car on valet parking as he raced towards emergency room, finding his two friends on the waiting chairs. "Speak. Now. What happened?"

"We were on the way home when we saw him on the road… He fell off his motorbike. Some pedestrians said he was avoiding crashing into a kid but he bumped into the street lamp instead," Carlos answered in between sniffles. "James bled so much, on the head, and those doctors haven't come out in forever!"

"Calm down, will you? It's gonna be alright." The blonde smacked the Latino, hoping to reassure all three of them.

Logan grimaced. "How long has he been in there?"

"Since I got here it's been about an hour or so." James's mother answered, Logan only noted her presence by that. "Hello, Logan, long time no see you. It's been long since last time you came to our house." She hugged the boy briefly before facing the other two boys too. "You boys are James's friends, right? I want to stay here but I can't just ditch my work like this. I need to go back. Can I trust you boys to look after him? When his condition is out, call me right away. And when he gains consciousness, tell me so I can call him."

The three nodded vigorously, assuring Brooke it was fine. She recited her number for Logan to save on his phone contact then hugged them before leaving. "Thanks. I'll be back in the evening."

Few moments later, the emergency room door finally opened. They saw James, lying on the bed with his head bandaged, being moved by the paramedics. A doctor followed them from behind, approaching Kendall, Carlos, and Logan, who immediately gave him questioning look. "Where's his family? I should talk about this matter to his blood-related family. Sorry, boys, hospital rules."

"Her mother trusts him to us. She wants news immediately and we'll report everything to her. Please, doc, what's wrong with James? Is he okay?" Logan begged.

Dr. Fritz found same pleadings in the other boys' eyes too, finally surrendering. "Fine. Go to my room."

"Um, when will James wake up? I'd rather see him if it's okay?" Carlos asked.

"I don't think that's a good idea. We still have to run some tests after he wakes up because some undesired things are possible to happen. Let's talk about it."

That didn't sound good. None of them could stop chanting prayers silently as they followed the doctor into his room.

* * *

"I will explain this to Mrs. Diamond. You two can come first, if you want?" Logan offered. Kendall agreed, taking Carlos with him. Both shared the same fear Logan was experiencing, same worries, and the pair held hands seeking reassuring from each other.

Dr. Fritz had told them about James's exact condition. James's motorbike had crashed the street lamp and the boy fell onto the road, hitting his helmless head hard into the cement. It shouldn't have been a really serious accident, but it could be fatal because James didn't wake up as soon as normally. Aside concussion, the doctor predicted James might suffer quite severe traumatic brain injury, since his scalp and skull were also damaged.

Logan, being a genius he was, had some idea of what came after that. But it's all still depending on its severity though, and they would find everything out once James gained consciousness. It was not long, actually. They were still talking when a nurse came to inform them that the patient had woken up.

Dr. Fritz motioned them to stay in that room while he's gone to find out what was precisely going on with James. Kendall suggested that maybe they should grab something to eat while waiting since neither had lunch that day. Actually Logan preferred staying, but he knew he should care for his own health first and eventually agreed. When they were back at emergency room, they were surprised to see Dr. Fritz already waiting for them.

Retrograde amnesia.

The doctor had conversed with the injured boy and finally came to conclude that he suffered a retrograde amnesia. He could still recognize his name, his identity, and his family members. Dr. Fritz also asked James about simple Math calculation and the pretty boy could still do it correctly. But when he asked about his age, it took a few seconds before James claimed that he still remembered his tenth birthday party and that's it, no memories after that. Like one normally would react, James freaked out. He kept asking questions and questions, desperately wanted the doctor to tell him everything, to fill the gap in his mind with something. So Dr. Fritz informed the scared boy about three of his friends outside, because they might be the source of answers he was looking for.

Outside, the boys were shocked to hear it, even Logan because he hadn't expected that much of memory James had lost. It was about six years, wasn't it? Logan felt relief that he was still there, existing in James's memory. However he felt pity over the pained look on Kendall's face. Carlos had been James's and Logan's schoolmate since elementary school but they weren't close at that time. While Kendall, he came into their life in junior high school, as the leader of their hockey team.

"We'll remind him about you, Ken, or perhaps we'll just introduce you to him. Sooner or later he'll remember the moments we all had together," Carlos rubbed his boyfriend's hand as they entered the room Dr. Fritz directed.

* * *

Logan was just done phoning when the pair emerged from the room.

"How's it? Does he remember you, Carlos?"

The Latino shrugged. "He said he had ever seen me before, which made him a bit calmer. So I reintroduce our names to him. Then he asked if we went to the same school as he did. I told James how we met, when, where, and how we became best friends, with you too. The second I mentioned your name, his face lit up. He requested for you, Logan."

A bit nervous, Logan walked into the room, knocking before he entered. He walked past the first curtain, finally finding the pretty boy in the middle bed. "Hey, James." Logan tried to emit happier mood. "How are you?"

"Logan. Ah, it's really great at least I remember you!" James smiled as he scooted to the left and patted the empty spot for the other boy to sit on. "How am I, you asked? Blank. Literally."

Logan suddenly missed this, talking to James freely like in the past. Of course, James had no memories of him asking to stop being friends. Logan even doubted James had memories of the first confession and rejection. The smart boy was guilty to find himself grateful about the situation.

"Carlos, Kendall, and I will fill that. We have tons of pictures and videos, so no worries." Logan sat next to James. "Just heal your injuries soon. Don't think too much, don't overdo trying to restore your memories because stress won't help you. Just take your time…"

"Whoa. You sound like a doctor! I remember you're smart and knowledgeable but it's as if you're even smarter than that Dr. Fritz!"

"Umm thanks?" Logan blushed, not quite used to this childish honest kid-like version James. All these months James had been very distant and cold it was a bit weird to suddenly have him again. "So, Dr. Fritz told us you didn't remember your own age?"

James nodded, disappointment colouring his features. "Yeah. Can you tell me everything, Logan? Just the big picture of it?"

"Well, let's start with this. What is the last thing you remember about me? Were we friends yet?" Logan's heart pounded, very curious to know how far back he could restart.

"Mm...maybe? I guess I just know you quite well. Like...that simple Math calculation. Something basic. I just know you as this smart, cute, outstanding boy I want to be friends with."

Logan tried to remember the words James said during the first confession. He did mention something about having observed Logan and getting impressed. But at that time James said he wanted to be Logan's boyfriend, not just a friend. Did James lose his memories until around the time before he discovered the romantic feelings? Logan didn't know how to react to that.

"Well, we became close friends around February. You said you remembered your tenth birthday party? Means currently your memory is in between that." Logan assumed. "We grew up together, hanging at each other's house to play video games or me tutoring you, or simply just to chat. After we graduated elementary school, we went to same junior high, with Carlos too. Then we met Kendall. He was the leader of our hockey club. At that time we were already close to Carlos. The bond just got tighter when Kendall fit our group as he dated Carlos."

"Oh? They are still dating now?" James didn't look disgusted or bothered, even happy, causing Logan to smile in relief.

"Yes. They are so mushy together it makes me sick, it has always made us sick, trust me."

"I see. Have I got a girlfriend? Or boyfriend? I don't recall finding out my sexual orientation."

Logan contemplated if he should be honest, but he chose not to. No, Logan didn't want to remind James about his feelings which had been unrequited for six years. Logan didn't want to mention the kiss between James and Camille either, and the months of avoiding each other that followed. No, Logan didn't want James to hate him because of the cruel things Logan did.

"I don't think you have. You don't share your romantic business to me, James." The spiky haired boy lied smoothly.

"Oh... How about you? You have someone?"

"Uh, yeah. I once had a girlfriend named Camille but we're going out only for two weeks. She cheated on me." Logan wondered since when he had such ability to divide which part of a fact that should be hidden and which was okay to be revealed. He was supposed to be a horrible liar, really.

"Must be a stupid bitch. Her loss." James shook his head in disbelief. The other boy only nodded slowly, actually agreeing on the statement. Logan had no feelings towards her anymore though. "Hm, Logan?"

"Yeah?"

"You said you used to tutor me? I had feelings that I wasn't bright, true?"

"No offense, but it was extremely hard to get something through your skull. You had to be in perfect mood to study, there had to be your favourite snacks, the subject had to be interesting... So well, you were right." Logan chuckled, remembering their study sessions.

James grinned too. "Would you mind going through that hassle again? I don't have any idea what―wait, how old are we?"

"Sixteen."

"Sixteen. Yeah, I don't have any idea what an eleventh grader learns at school. I bet the only lessons I can pass is English." James pouted. "You've got to teach me everything! I want to pass so I don't have to be left a year behind. Please?"

"Um, sure. Of course. I'm sure it won't be that hard. Dr. Fritz said you only lost your episodic memories. Most of your semantic ones aren't that much affected."

James gave blank expression, making Logan smile wider. He missed this too. In the past, he had lost count on how many times he talked big words and James would give the same look. "It means you only forget the moments, the events, things like that. But your natural abilities remain. You still remember about common knowledge, and also vocabularies that you learned. You should still be able to play piano, to sing some song lyrics that you have known by heart, to ride motorcycle without needing to be taught again."

The pretty boy looked stunned, and pleased knowing that he was not the most idiot creature who had to catch up everything from the very basic again as if the five years were just a waste. "Thanks, Logan. What would I do without you?"

_Be happy_, Logan answered in silence. _You would not have pined over someone very cruel like me. Don't thank me, James, I deserve nothing_.

Then again, Logan was determined to restart the whole thing. He was guilty to feel this but he really didn't want James's memories to come back. They wouldn't be needed if together they could create new ones, would they?

* * *

Neither Kendall nor Carlos agreed with Logan's wish.

"So you're not telling him the whole truth? He trusts you! He has lost his recent memories and he trusts you to fill him in correctly! How can you do that to him? What if he finds out?" Kendall crossed his arm. "You're afraid he'll hate you if he knows how you rejected him. But if he finds out you've been lying, he might hate you forever, Logan."

"James doesn't have to know."

"What if this is just temporary? One day he'll wake up fully restored, get confused because all you've been telling him is nothing but a lie?"

"Something that starts badly will end badly. You start a new chapter with dishonesty. A relationship based on lie. How can you not feel guilty all the time?" Carlos added, siding with Kendall.

Logan knew. Logan fucking knew. He had predicted far into the future. He had been hindered by millions of 'what if' on the way. But it was so easy to ignore them all.

Because friendship with James was all Logan wanted. To be friends with the pretty boy without worrying if his actions led on false hope. To be friends with James without worrying the other might take his actions wrong. To be in the Friend Zone with James again.

A chance finally came. A reset button. A restart. And Logan wasn't willing to let it slide.

"I'll bear the risk. If later James hates me, that is fine. Please, guys."

Kendall and Carlos looked at each other, before the blonde asked his final question. "What would you do if at the end James fell in love with you all over again? Answer honestly!"

The genius was startled, that definitely hadn't crossed his mind. Losing the argument, Logan finally gave up. "If that happened, then I'm done. I'd tell him everything, he would hate me, and our friendship would be over. I would have to be satisfied with what I already had."

"It's always about you, isn't Logan? Why did you never stop to see this from his side? You've hurt his feelings and you're just doing it again, even worse."

Carlos's words stabbed right at Logan's core. It made Logan snapped. "What the heck exactly you want me to do? Be honest? Telling him he used to be in love with me but I rejected him six times? How will he react to that? It'd be awkward. We would never get to be close friends again. I don't want it. I really, really don't want to be not friends with James anymore, please! Please give me time to enjoy this relationship again..." His tear dam broke when Carlos hugged to soothe him.

"Okay, Logan. Honestly, me too, I want the four of us back like before too. So fine, we're taking the risk with you. Come on stop crying."

Logan muffled 'thanks' to the shorter boy's shoulder, failing to stop his sobbing.

* * *

A week later, James already got permission to leave the hospital. Dr. Fritz said once the injuries were treated, there were no other side damages. As for the memory loss, it could be temporary or permanent, and all the boy had to do was live his life. Time and people around him would give answers to the missing answers in his head. The doctor also suggested him to go to therapist but seeing how much care James's friends and mother showered him with, he said that might not be needed. Especially when one of the friends, Logan, was acting like an expert already.

Brooke Diamond got her son a private home-schooling teacher to teach him all from the basic, since even five years ago the boy didn't even understand the concepts. The study session was every weekday, started at seven and ended at five. Although he got a few times a break, that definitely bore James. His disinterest at studying apparently wasn't washed together with his episodic memories. Logan had expected it so for the pretty boy's sake, everyday after school the smart boy came for a visit. Sometimes Kendall and Carlos joined them, but later Brooke didn't let them come before the studying finished since all they did was nothing but distracting James. While Logan was allowed because the boy could motivate James to study more, heck he even got access to sleep over and assume the house as his!

"Do the exercise on page twenty three, James. If you get all-correct, you may get early finish," Kevin, the teacher, shoved the book he meant towards the previously tired but now thrilled student. "Do it in five minutes."

Logan, who was doing his own homework next to James, took a peek to see what the exercise was about. "Ah, that simple algebra we re-discussed last night. You've already mastered it, come on show Kevin how piece of cake those are."

The encouraging did boost up James's confidence. He spent almost seven minutes to finish those ten equations but neither Kevin nor Logan pointed it out since James managed to make no mistakes. "Awesome progress, boy, keep it up! Another bonus for you, no homework for tomorrow. But don't forget about that paper assignment due next Monday. We need to know if your ability of using computers is still intact." Kevin tidied his papers and stood up, ruffling the two teens' hair. "See you boys tomorrow."

Logan pouted as he tried to get his spiky hair back in place. He glanced at his right, expecting James to react even worse since they boy never ever let anyone but professional hairdresser touch his fine hair before, not even Logan, but what he saw made him dazed. James had this stupid goofy look, smiling to himself as he played with his own hair. Like...a girl falling in love.

"Logan I think I might develop somewhat a crush toward that guy."

"_Next thing I know, I want to be the one. I want to be your boyfriend."_

"_Seriously James, I don't have any romantic feelings for you. I'm not gay, not just into you, not anything but straight."_

"_I can date Camille without feeling guilty all the time. You can find the one meant for you. We can go on double date and please James, that's all I ever want."_

That was supposed to be great news. James falling for another guy, wasn't that all Logan ever wanted? Logan pictured the image in his head, three couples going on a date together at amusement park. Kendall held Carlos's hand, preventing the boy from fleeing off to this ride and that ride beyond the blonde's eyesight. Logan had someone clinging to his arm, not Camille, Logan didn't bother to put a face on that person, not even a male or female sex, because his eyes were glued to the other couple. There James stood smiling with Kevin promising him that he didn't need the lost memories because the young teacher would be by his side to replace them with new ones together.

Nevertheless, Logan could not sleep that night. That imagination kept haunting him since that evening and it was already one in the morning. The boy tossed on his spot, turned to face the sleeping boy on the other side of the double bed. James was indeed a mass of beauty. Even in his sleep, without his shining hazel orbs and perfect hair which were his huge assets, the gorgeousness just radiated from his simple being.

Suddenly a brand new image came into his head, something he never ever visioned before.

Logan imagined what it's like to love James, to date him, to be his boyfriend like the boy asked all those years ago. He imagined more physical contact with the boy, more intimate moments when they could just stare into each other's eyes, forgetting what's happening outside their little world. He imagined kissing him, being kissed back, in friendly playful pecks but soon turning into more heated, needy, tongue-involved kisses.

Now that, was all Logan wanted to try. Why had he never given James a chance? Why had he never given himself a chance to experience it, instead of hiding behind the huge billboard with the word STRAIGHT written on it?

Damn.

Logan turned again, unable to think with clearer mind if he kept facing James. He began to rearrange his jumbled heart, trying to sort out what the heck it actually wanted.

He wasn't sure if these feelings were identical with what James _used to_ feel towards him. Maybe it was just this selfish side Logan didn't know he had. James had devoted his attention to Logan for years and suddenly it was all gone, maybe Logan was a bit disappointed by that. Maybe Logan did enjoy having an admirer, felt flattered over it. Now the boy looked at it again, all this time he actually wanted to love James back. He was just too convinced that he couldn't, because he was 'straight'. And now... the selfishness and disappointment appeared today obviously triggered by jealousy. His place had been taken by Kevin. And Kevin, Logan didn't know, might be able to love James back the way Logan wanted to.

Maybe Kevin was the one meant for James. That pretty boy deserved happiness after all. Whatever best for James, Logan would support.

Of course.

Logan was too tired to find a reason why his chest only tightened even more, why he felt just more anguished. The clock made a perfect right angle at three when sleep finally overtook him.

* * *

"You dream what?" Kendall and Carlos asked simultaneously, aloud that Logan had to shut their mouths with both his hands and look around if someone was around. Glad that the stairs area was almost empty and no one was really paying attention to them.

"Can you two shut up?" Logan's face was impossibly redder now. "I'm starting to regret discussing this with you two!"

Kendall burst up laughing, but Carlos smacked his shoulder as he got more interested in Logan's feelings. "So you're saying that instead of love, this jealousy is only due to selfishness. But you dream having sex with him last night. Which one is?"

"It's not _sex_, Carlos. Just a quite heated making out." The boy hissed, slapping his own face to get rid of embarrassment. "I'm telling this to you guys only because I hope you can find a way to get rid of this possessiveness!"

"How do you know it is not love? You like staying close with him, you don't like the idea of him liking another guy, you even dream of making out with him! Why do you always decide you can't love James?"

Slumping against the stairs' wall, Logan sighed. "I... I guess I'm afraid. Honestly, I want to. After thinking so much last night, I actually want to try dating James. But what if it's not love? If at the end it didn't work out...I didn't want to break a heart again."

Kendall, who had serious look now, said, "Then tell James everything. Say all the truth, all your feelings. See if he's willing to risk his heart again."

"But Kevin―"

"Amnesia causes people to forget memories, not heart. It has always been you. Ask him to choose between you and that teacher, I'm fine giving up all my treasures to bet on it." The blonde emphasized.

"Me too!" The Latino joined in.

"All treasures? Are you willing to put your relationship on bet?" Logan smirked, definitely just kidding. "If James chose to run away with that Kevin, you two broke up. How's that?"

"Sorry, Logan. I'm not letting this guy go anywhere, even if he agreed and lost." Kendall pulled Carlos closer, briefly kissing his temple. Logan made puking face at his friends' excessive display of affection. "You're just jealous. Now get your man, dude! Try! Make him already unable to hate you when the memories actually come back."

Logan couldn't argue that. He was sure now that it was not just friendship he wanted from James. He wished he was in Carlos position, safe and sound inside James's embrace, being affectionate towards each other like his two best friends were.

"_Cool. But if your feelings change, you'll tell me right away, won't you?"_

Today he would.

* * *

When Logan arrived at Diamond's house, he went straight to the study room, half afraid half impatient to meet James after managing to define and sort his feelings. He had decided to talk about it later after the home-schooling ended, because James's concentration on his studies was more important.

Before he entered the room, Logan opened the door a little, making a little last confirmation. Neither in the room noticed the door movement as Kevin was explaining about something. Logan watched James's expression, a bit surprised that it was very different than what he usually saw. It was as if James used to look in the classroom, paying attention only halfheartedly to the teacher. While with Logan around, somehow James was a bit livelier, making Logan previously thinking there must be something with Kevin if the young teacher was able to interest James with his lesson.

_Yeah. So much for developing a crush toward this guy, James._

Feeling a rush of confidence, Logan finally stepped inside. "Hey, James, Kevin. What's up?" He's amazed at how smooth he got in acting recently.

"Hey Logan!" James's face turned excited in second. Now _that _amazed Logan. "We're attacking physics today. Which is like nonsense because I really know nothing about this subject."

"Stop whining, you brat. Physics isn't that hard," Logan sat down on James's right, as usual.

"A genius boy, aren't you Logan? When I was in high school physics was my nightmare." Kevin chuckled. "Which is why I can't seem to get it through James well. Help me?"

"Sure, hand me your payment." Logan grinned, somehow pleased knowing the older boy's weakness. Kevin only stuck out his tongue. "James, all you need is only understanding the concept and memorizing the formula. When you find a question, get to know what it means, illustrate it, then find which formula you should use. Physics is all about that."

James's expression darkened. "Yeah, and I understand nothing, memorize nothing."

Realizing his slip, Logan took the book in James's hand. "What chapter is it anyway? Oh, heat? You have learned about quantities, units, and other basic stuffs, right?"

"That dimension thing? Yeah, this morning. Those symbols make me sick."

"Don't worry. In this chapter, there's only one this easy formula for you to remember..." Logan began explaining the chapter with languages he knew James would easily grasp. He made example questions out of daily life, taking their surroundings and every a while he made James guess. From his seat, Kevin actually observed the way Logan taught, learning big from it.

He announced it when his digital watch said it was already five. However, James was too caught up with one sample question he was doing that he ignored the teacher completely. So Logan stood up and accompanied Kevin towards the front door.

"I am straight," the older boy suddenly said out of the blue.

"Wha―"

"You've been glaring daggers at me. It's kinda scary. So I tell you, I am straight. Even if I weren't I have policy not to date my student. And I also have policy about not stealing someone else's lover." Kevin smiled simply. "I don't understand why the two of you aren't going out already...Oh! Don't tell me. You were dating before, but then he lost his memories? Is that why you're only friends right now?"

Logan was still stunned. "Am I...obvious?"

"Not really. But I have great sense. So is it like that between you two?"

"It's complicated. But no, we weren't dating before." Logan went with that. "I'm planning to untangle everything tonight."

"Okay, then. Good luck." Kevin patted the shorter boy on the shoulder. "Thanks for helping me forcing physics through his skull. Though I'm sure you didn't mind it at all."

"Very true, so no problems. Have a safe ride." Logan bid goodbyes as the ginger haired teacher got into his car and left.

He then came back to the room, finding James actually doing another sample question. "Look who's now interested in physics." He teased from behind, satisfied at the pretty boy's correct answers.

"Shut up. All thanks to you!"

Done with that number, James tidied up his books and papers for tomorrow's session. The nervousness hit Logan again as they got closer to confession time. "Um, I'm gonna shower first, okay?"

"Sure. I'll make dinner. Good thing my cooking ability stays."

The husband-wife type of chat only made Logan more nervous. He really needed cool water to refresh his mind.

* * *

"There's something I want to ask you."

Logan, who was lying on the bed contemplating words to say, frowned when James entered the bedroom saying that. His expression looked serious, a bit fearful for some reason.

"What is it?"

"Uh, how to say this? All this time, we're close friends, right?"

"Yeah?" Logan prompted, not sure where this conversation led.

"Have I ever―um, did I ever show any interest or attraction, towards anyone? I mean, you told me before that you don't know because I didn't share it. But you must have known, right? Been my closest friend, with your sharp intuition and such, can I really fool you?"

The pale boy was silent. He was ready to attempt lying again but he remembered his intention today, to speak the truth. But first he had to know why James was asking all this. "What made you ask this?"

James's fingers were fidgeting on his lap before he stood up from the bed, heading to his drawer. He rummaged through the pack of clothes and then took a box out. It looked like a box usually used for present, a bit dusty and the ribbon on the top was tangled. Confused, Logan asked, "What's that?"

"Promise you won't laugh or make things awkward?"

"Promise."

James took few pieces of tissue and cleaned the box just so it wasn't dusty anymore then walked back to the bed. He let Logan open it by himself, and the shorter boy only frowned even more to see papers inside it. "I found that this morning, before schooling. Those papers are...poems, love letters, and love songs. I didn't know myself to be a romantic type of a guy."

Logan was startled. He hadn't known this side of James either. Well, James was indeed a romantic guy who knew how to swag talk and make girls melt. But to write it on papers? Wait! James had ever given him a song and a letter before...Logan's brain finally clicked, horror encompassed him in as he scanned over the poetic words.

These were for him. There were no names mentioned, but Logan just knew. Most of them described pieces by pieces that made a Logan Mitchell if being combined together. And this James of course recognized it too.

"Do you know I liked you? I mean, have I ever confessed to you? Were we dating when I had that accident? Tell me, Logan..." James pleaded. "Have I been this cruel guy, who has no memory of my own lover?"

"Promise you will listen to my story until it's finished, don't hate me and kick me out of here halfway?"

"Would I do that? No, Logan. Tell me!"

Logan inhaled a deep breath before reciting the six years into a shorter version. It was clear as day in his memory, the day ten-year-old James came to him in the locker room, giving him chocolate box and confessing his interest. Logan had rejected the boy but both gained a valuable friend out of it. Logan told James how they started to hang out during recess, play cards together, and even study together. James was the first to invite Logan into his house. They discovered more common interest between them, about music, video game, and hockey. On Logan's eleventh birthday party, he invited James; James did the same with his party and so they took turns.

Logan pulled out his wallet to emphasize the point. "This is from you, as my twelfth birthday present." The boy showed him the photo frame. It was the picture of them with Kendall and Carlos too, posing on skating rink. James smiled at that, motioning Logan to go on with the story. Basically Logan told James the antiques he did every Valentine's day. "I guess you wrote plenty. These are the unsent ones." Logan tapped the box.

And finally, Logan told him about Camille, the only girl he had ever got attracted to. Logan told how James was there to help him ask her to the dance at Valentine's Day. Logan also talked about how he felt bad about the whole thing and suggested them to distance away, avoiding each other. Yet two weeks later, Camille, along with Kendall and Carlos, came to Logan to admit that she and James kissed.

"What? Why would I do that?" James interrupted, annoyed at his old self he didn't even know.

"You said something about the mood and you totally forgot who she was, who you liked, it just happened."

James looked frustrated. "Okay, so?"

"So I confronted you, and that's when you told me that reason. Um...you asked if I really liked her and I guess I rejected you again, by telling that if you did that again I would not ever forgive you."

The pretty boy kept silent, Logan to continue. "Counting from the Valentine's day, we've been not friends for like nine months. And then one day I got a call from Kendall, telling me you crashed yourself into a street lamp."

"Street lamp? Wait, I've never heard about my accident before. How does it happen? I hit my head into a street lamp and woke up forgetting everything? How dumb does that sound? Was I drunk or something?"

Logan couldn't help laughing imagining James actually walking and bumping into street lamp. "No, it's not like that. You were riding your Harley on the way home after school."

"Harley? Oh, my motorcycle? Whoa I ride a Harley?"

"Yea you're proud of it, calling him your brother. I asked your mother about your Harley. Actually repairing 'him' is more expensive then selling and buying a new one, but she did it anyway because you loved 'him'." Logan made quotation marks using his hand gesture.

James smiled. "As far as I remember, literally, my mother isn't a caring typical mother. Well, even now she goes to work before I woke up and comes home only to have dinner with us, talk a little, then I'll go to my room with you. Is that how she always is?"

"Um yeah. She's always like that. But after your accident she does care about you a whole lot more. You two used to meet each other only at weekends because you ate dinner without her, more often at my place."

The boy's face lit up as he got an idea. "Show me your place this weekend?"

Logan once thought he would never see the day. It had been so long since James visited his house. "Sure. My mother sure misses you."

"Okay. Now back to your story," James requested.

Logan nodded. "Kendall and Carlos found you on the road. A pedestrian said a kid suddenly ran crossing the road to pick his baseball. You avoided hit him, turning suddenly and crashed the lamp instead. Your Harley's front was broken. You fell down, hitting your head hard onto the cement."

James made an 'ooh' face, seeming startled of his heroic action. "The kid's okay?"

"I don't know. He should be."

"I see. So I got into accident. I woke up forgetting who I was...but then Dr. Fritz came in calling me James, I started to remember that it was my name." James trailed off, in turn telling what he remembered. "He asked about my family. I tried so hard to think, because my head was pounding and I was scared, scared that something was not right. Like some part of me was gone, like I didn't know anything. Eventually I remembered having a mother, who had a cosmetic company under her own name, Brooke Diamond. And I was the only son, James Diamond. I hadn't spoken to my father in years... Wait, did anyone contact him to tell about my condition?"

"The hospital contacted him, as they found your cellphone and contacted the ones named 'Mom' and 'Dad'. He only called your mother though, making sure you're okay. But your mother didn't tell him that you had amnesia." Logan touched James's hand in soothing manner as the boy seemed to space out. He missed his father although he never admitted it, Logan always knew. "So, anything else Dr. Fritz interviewed you?"

"Yeah. He questioned me about Math. Also my age. I freaked out when I didn't remember something that simple. I think I kind bombarded Dr. Fritz with question, asking what was wrong with me. It was scary." Logan nodded in understanding. "Then he told me about my friends. I didn't remember having any close friends, but I vaguely remembered about school. An elementary school. And one certain pale boy that has been intriguing me." James grinned, making Logan's face flushed. "The doctor mentioned three names of the guys who are waiting outside and at the word 'Logan', it automatically clicked in my brain. I knew you. I just knew it. Then I see Carlos, recognising him a bit after seeing his face."

"Well, it's true that you used to not have close friends. The people hang out with you are those popular guys. You were popular. That's why I couldn't believe it when you confessed to me so suddenly."

"Yeaah...About that..."

James was now facing Logan directly, eyes piercing through. The smaller boy gulped. Now they were talking about this, this one thing that scared Logan so.

"So you never have, even the tiniest bit, a romantic type of feelings towards me? All this time, you're as straight as the line? Don't be hesitant if you have to reject me again, Logan, it would hurt less than dishonesty would." James asked softly.

"I've been thinking last night..." Logan started, unable to look away from the beautiful hazel eyes. "Kendall asked me once, what if you, after losing memories and forgetting that you liked me again for good this time, fell in love with me all over again? When he asked that, all I wanted was friendship with you. I was willing to hide the truth, willing to prevent those memories from returning, because I wanted us like how we were these past weeks."

"And then?"

How did James know there was more? "And then you said you might have crush on Kevin."

"You can't blame me! That teacher's hot."

"He's straight."

James raised an eyebrow. "Really? How do you know?"

"He told me. Just now. He said I was glaring daggers at him, scared him a little."

"Jealous? What, are you feeling possessive about me? Because I've been yours for years but not only have I forgotten it all, I'm turning my attention towards someone else?" The pretty boy kidded, poked Logan on the shoulder to elicit at least a chuckle.

However Logan was not laughing, not at all. "All true. Damn, this best friend of yours is actually very selfish."

They were both silent for a few seconds, before James asked again, softly, more seriously, "So I told you I might be crushing on Kevin. Then? What were you thinking about last night?"

"I... I want to..." Logan found troubles in breathing as he struggled to find words. How should he say this without appearing like he wanted to ravish James right that moment? How should he explain that he wanted to try, wanted to experience for once what it'd be like to be with James Diamond as a lover? Heck, Logan didn't even know if James still had any attraction towards him!

"Whatever you want to do, believe me, I want it too. Still."

"How do you know what I'm talking about? No way you can guess what's inside my mind," Logan's tone turned angry. No way. Why would James confirm something like that?

"Logan, can I kiss you now?"

Neither needed words to explain more, as Logan lifted up his body to crash his lips against James, the pretty boy swiftly held him, capturing the lips and dancing with them in perfect rhythm. They wanted this, they had long wanted this, for sure.

James pulled Logan as he landed himself on the bed, the spiky haired boy on top of his body without breaking off contacts even a second. They parted every a while for breath though but instantly went back to the making out, both brains ceased their function, hearts never stopped somersaulting, and blood rushed into certain area.

"Logan, fuck, wait..." James used all his power to push the other boy, panting hard. Logan looked displeased, but he did pull back, eyeing James in utter confusion. "We need to talk first. I don't want you freaking out later thinking we have done a mistake and ended up avoiding each other again."

Logan nodded, understanding what James had meant. "Oh...yeah. Um, James? What is this? How do you still want this? You remember your feelings? Or you're falling in love with me all over again?"

The sandy haired boy was quiet for seconds before he finally answered, "I'm not sure. Until yesterday, I didn't feel any lust for you. I mean, sure, you're unexplainably cute and hot at the same time. But you're a friend. I don't let myself think you're possible to fall in love with. However, when I read these writings," James pointed at the box, "I have this weird feeling. Knowing that I used to adore you that much, it's like somewhere deep inside my brain remembers it. My mind and even my heart may forget what I feel for you, but I guess my body somehow remembers what it craves. Suddenly I want you. Then when I rethink about Kevin, I surprised myself. Apparently, it's just that I have this thing for smart, pale-skinned, short-haired, cute-dimpled brunette. One thing prevented me from really falling for him: he's boring. I'd rather listen to you explaining quantum physics than him talking about one and one equals two. Kevin is no fun at all. And he is just not you, Logan. No one can replace you."

It shocked Logan, the boy only now realising that he and Kevin did have a lot of similarities. He was also touched at James's confession he almost didn't believe it. "Can we go back kissing? I really, really want to kiss you right now."

"Damn, you animal." James laughed, moving a bit further to avoid losing control in case Logan actually attacked him despite the warning. "It's your turn! What are you feeling towards me? You never reciprocated my feelings before, right? So the jealousy thing changed that? I'm not interrupting this time. Go on. Tell me what you've been thinking last night."

"Uh, last night... I imagine what it would be like had I given you a chance. I was wondering, why haven't I tried even for once? How come I was so sure I was straight and why was it so impossible to love you? I found no answers. I found myself stupid. There has never been an answer. I kept thinking it'd be better if you got over me. I never thought of another solution, why can't I just try being gay for you? I love spending time with you, I love being around you, and last night I found it far from disgusting when I imagined kissing you, dreaming of...um, _something _going between us."

"You dream what?" James couldn't hide his smirk, emitting a very visible blush on the other boy's cheeks.

"Let's say there are us making out intensely enough that I woke up with a boner. Now shut up."

James kissed Logan's temple briefly, the boy relaxed a little under his touch. "I bet I used to dream the same thing. Whatever that is."

"I... I'm afraid, James. At this time, I really do want you. But what if it's just temporary selfishness? What if it's just lust talking here? Right now I'm more than willing to be your boyfriend, but I'm scared one day I won't want you anymore and have to reject you again."

"Reject me a hundred more times I am not gonna hate you, Logan. I don't know about my feelings either. These feelings are new to me, I'm not sure it will last like before. What if my memories return one day? Who knows, maybe the pain will come and I'd be scared to risk my heart again? Even so, what matters now is what happens now. Now I need you. Logan, would you be my boyfriend?"

Those were exactly the same word James said on the very first confession. This time, Logan melted. It was said with so much sincerity. None of them knew what waited in the future, but together, they'd risk their heart.

"Yes." This time, Logan's answer was much shorter. No 'buts' no other assumptions.

James wasted no time in pinning the boy on the bed, now he was on top, ravishing Logan's lips in hungry kiss. His tongue poked out to tease Logan's lips, thankful that an access was quickly granted. There was no battle of dominance, both only wanting to savour the feelings, fulfilling the desires that had been unknown for whiles. James then manoeuvred down, mouthing the pale neck, eliciting moans from the boy under, music to his ears. It was miraculous. James definitely didn't remember if he had ever watched porn but his body knew what it wanted, his heart finally remembered what it yearned, as he poured everything into every touch and action.

They made love that night, then falling asleep with contented smiles on their lips.

* * *

On the weekend, Logan brought James to his house. The pretty boy didn't recall Joanna Mitchell's face, but somehow he remembered that he used to call her 'Mom'. He didn't recall ever seeing the house, ever walking into it, but he somehow knew the direction from the front door to Logan's room. Both boys were actually excited to find out more unique things like that, eager to revive James's memories little by little.

"This is your room?" James looked around, like a kid first time brought to candy store. He entered it, walked around, examined Logan's desk and the photo frames on it, opened his drawer, bounced on the bed, and Logan couldn't stop smiling at his boyfriend's childishness. He had to remind himself that the guy naturally would act like a ten-year-old, because that was as far his mind stored him to be.

"I have always told you I hate it when you bounce on my bed." Logan shook his head. James immediately stopped, before grinning widely and bounced even harder.

"What? So you can bounce on my bed but I can't on yours?" James's eyes twinkled and Logan's face instantly burned, remembering the night they first slept together, few days ago. "So cute. Come here Logie I didn't mean to embarrass you."

Logan was still pouting at the remark, but he did come to James's embrace, burying his face on the tanned neck. "You're lucky I need you to function."

"I know. I am very lucky. I could have forgotten who you are, even who I am, but I didn't."

They stayed close like that for good five minutes before Logan broke the comfortable silence. "James? Do you wish for your memories to return?"

"Hm, well, I'm already contented with what I have. But no doubt, it'd suck that those precious memories would only be like a tale you read to me instead of a true experience. Sometimes I imagined you, Kendall, and Carlos talking about something and I'd be left out..." Logan was ready to interrupt him but James continued, "Yet it scared me. I don't know how I used to feel towards you, before the accident. What if it influenced our relationship? I'd say let's just walk it. Don't try returning them. Don't hide them either. What matters now is what happens now."

"But if your feelings changed, you'd tell me right away, wouldn't you?" Feeling James nodded above him, mumbling 'of course' softly, Logan smiled.

James had asked that in the past, wishing Logan would change his mind somehow. This time, Logan wished neither of them would. This maybe-love-maybe-only-lust thing between them was already enough.

* * *

February 14th. Logan had been staring at the calendar on his phone, sighing every once a while. For six consecutive years he had received chocolates and various cheesy love declarations. But this year Logan expected nothing, because he had only briefly told James about that once, at that night in James's bedroom, when they decided to open up and be honest.

Kendall and Carlos suggested him to be the one who made the move. Logan was a better cook than James anyway, making chocolates wouldn't be too much a hassle. Surrendering, the boy finally agreed. He's just text James later that his visit would not be on time.

So Logan was surprised to see James standing by the school's front gate. The boy seemed to be searching for someone, and when their eyes finally met, he waved, motioning Logan to approach him.

"Don't you have classes with Kevin? Why are you here?"

"There's somewhere I want to go. With you. Please? I have his permission to ditch!"

Logan was weak to his boyfriend's pleadings, a fact which James took advantage of. He grabbed the shorter boy's hand and led him to the parking lot, where his black Harley stood. Logan was completely stunned at how 'healed' it was.

James hopped in, pulling Logan to get seated behind him. "Don't forget your helmet, James!" Logan was quick to remind. There was no way he'd be careless enough let James ride without anything to protect his brain again.

"What are you, cops?"

"Nah. Just a boyfriend whose relationship doesn't want to be forgotten."

The boy in front laughed. "Scary enough. Okay. Don't worry I'm prepared with two." James turned to wear the spare blue helmet on Logan before setting his own too. "Hold on me," he told.

Shyly Logan encircled the toned body, feeling warm and fuzzy. It was recently when Logan noticed how his heart could never get back to its normal rhythm when James was in five-metre radius, something that never happened ages before.

Logan was quite familiar with the roads, the direction, but he barely recognized it. Logan noted how this bookstore had changed into DVD rental, how that white-painted house had turned into cream, how it used to be an empty lot before an apartment was built there... Logan finally had an idea where they headed.

Then it hit him. How could James remember the way? Things had changed so much since six years ago!

"James!" Logan tried to call him, but the sounds of the vehicle blocked his voice he could barely hear his own voice. Logan tried to tap on his back but it was as if James ignored him.

How could James possibly remember the way from their current neighbourhood to their elementary school? Did he gain the lost memories?

Now Logan was fearful.

Few minutes later they arrived, Logan had been correct. The period ended about two hours ago, now the school area was vacant. There was no other but the gatekeepers and possibly some teachers at their room.

"James, why?"

"Where did I confess to you?"

Logan frowned. So the memories hadn't returned? "Locker room."

"Oh? Where is it? Can you show me the exact place?"

The smart boy was not certain. It had been years! But his legs just brought his body, entering the building, turning at correct corridors, stopping at correct locker. James was close behind, staring at his surroundings, familiarizing himself. "I don't think my locker is in this room. There are other rooms, right?"

"If I'm not mistaken, yours were located nearer to classrooms. I envied you back then."

"Oh..." James reached his shoulder bag, taking something out of it then shoving it right in front of Logan, who was still staring at his old locker. Logan's eyes widened, completely familiar with this.

"Logan, my boyfriend, would you accept this chocolate?"

Still shocked, the boy wasn't able to form any words but "How?"

"I found my elementary school year book, beneath that box. So one day when you're not around I asked my mother to show me the way to this place. I tried going here by myself and decided that I would so bring you here on Valentine's day." James pulled Logan's hands and placed the chocolate box there.

Logan found a card stuck to it. Curious, he opened it to see a doodle of two stickmen, one having brown straight hair while the other having black spiky hair, connected at the stick hands. 'Jagan forever' was written on the top with bright big font.

"You call us Jagan?"

"Yep. I'm not going with Lomes because that sounds horrible."

Logan chuckled. "And we used to call Kenlos stupid."

"Who cares about them?" The taller boy gazed at the smaller one warmly, his fingers gently tracing the soft cheeks. Logan was astounded at the sudden change of mood, even more startled when James started to sing.

"_Hey Baby close your eyes, perk your ears up. This is something I've been wanting to say. Wait, I've said this million times already. Yet you never ever seem to hear me out."_ Soft notes Logan never heard before came out from those lips. _"Love you, love you, I love you. Adore you since the very start. Miss you, miss you, I've missed you. Without you I'm falling apart."_

"_Hey Baby open your eyes, look at me now. This is a guy that's different from that one. Wait, maybe it's not that too much contrast. One thing never ever seems to change's that I...Love you, love you, I love you. Adore you since we got a new start. Love you, love you, I love you. I know that we'll not be apart."_

"_Hey Logan I have no idea how love is defined. I just know that I do, love you, love you, I love you. Let my life pause, rewind, and play, I just know that I do, love you, I love you, all over again."_

James reached his bag again, tossing a small blue bush into Logan's other hand, which was not holding the chocolate. Logan stared at it wide-eyed. A toy bush of small angelic forget-me-not flowers.

"_You kept forgetting this. I did forgetting this. But let's forget-me-not. Let my life pause, rewind, and play all over again, this shall be our Jagan forever song. Love me, love me, say you do."_

Logan didn't realize he was crying until James's thumb brushed the tears away, still staring straight into his soul. "I'm thanking God for sparing you and my ability to compose songs away from my lost memories. It's one of the lyrics I found in that box. The paper says it's written in June. Which explained the 'I've missed you' part."

"And the rest? The music?"

"_I _did. With a grand piano I didn't know exist in my storage room. At one night when I figured I definitely love you. Sorry for not telling right away like I promised, because this is a big day. By the way, I bought the similar toy bush for me too. Just in case a kid crossed my way again," That earned a smack on the shoulder from Logan, the boy clearly unhappy with the conditional. "So how's it, Logan? Are you gonna make this seven consecutive 'No's for me?" James didn't look nervous nor scared at all. He even smirked, knowing exactly the answer to that question.

Since that day they became lovers, there had been nothing but loving moments between the two. Every weekdays of studying together, every night of talks, flirts, cuddles, affectionate gestures, and sometimes love makings; James couldn't possibly still doubt it. Logan knew his boyfriend just wanted him to say it out loud, three words he never spoke to anyone and meant it. So, sure, he'd granted that wish.

"Yes, James. I love you."

Contented, James pulled him into a tight embrace, muffling more loving words into the raven hair, smiles graced their lips.

This was how far Logan could restart. They were back in the locker room of their elementary school, James had just confessed, and this time they could make new memories together, a new beginning.

-End-


End file.
